Why Can't I Remember Anything?

You're mid-conversation when it happens again. That word you need? Gone.

The reason you walked into the kitchen? Vanished.

Your colleague's partner's name – someone you've met five times? Completely disappeared into the mental fog that's taken up residence in your brain.

If you're anything like me, you've stood in the middle of a room wondering what you came in for, retraced your steps three times, then given up entirely.

Or experienced that heart-stopping moment when you can't recall whether you locked the door or turned off the hob.

I've done it. Can you beat leaving the keys in the front door after coming home one night, and the postman handing them to you the next morning????

I'm guessing you haven't got around to addressing this properly because you're too knackered trying to remember what you were supposed to be doing in the first place!

Welcome to one of menopause's most frustrating symptoms – that cognitive cloudiness that makes you question whether you're losing your marbles.

Spoiler alert: you're not.

Your brain is navigating a hormonal hurricane, and there are practical ways to help - a lot of which I outline in a journal I designed called Calming Your Midlife Mind to help you create the headspace you desperately need.

Let me be straight with you: the main culprit behind your brain fog isn't age or some mysterious decline. It's the wild fluctuations in oestrogen and progesterone.

Oestrogen plays a starring role in maintaining connections between brain cells, supporting memory formation, and regulating neurotransmitters that govern concentration and mood.

When these hormones fluctuate erratically during perimenopause and menopause, your brain genuinely struggles to function as efficiently as it once did.

The research backs this up.

Over a quarter of women aged 40-60 experiencing menopausal symptoms report those symptoms negatively impacting their career progression – and cognitive issues sit right at the heart of that challenge.

But here's what makes this particularly maddening: brain fog rarely arrives alone.

It brings disrupted sleep from night sweats, anxiety about forgetting things (which ironically makes forgetting more likely), and mood swings that drain your reserves. Each symptom feeds the others, creating a vicious cycle.

The anxiety deserves special attention. You forget something. You worry about forgetting.

That worry creates stress. Stress hormones like cortisol further impair memory. Before you know it, the fear of brain fog actually worsens the brain fog itself.

The Hormonal Truth Behind Your Forgetfulness

My Journey From Mental Chaos to Trusting Myself Again

A few years back, I was living in complete mental disarray. My brain felt stuffed with cotton wool, and menopause symptoms were amplifying everything tenfold.

The fog hit hardest when working. I'd sit down to write and it was like trying to see through thick soup.

Words escaped me. Thoughts scattered. I'd read the same paragraph five times and still have no idea what it said.

What frightened me most was the impact on my confidence TBH!

As someone who's built a career on being articulate and quick-thinking in live television, suddenly fumbling for basic words felt like losing my identity. I started second-guessing every decision, questioning whether I should just accept this foggy version of myself as the new normal.

Then I woke up to the fact that I needed specific practices to calm the mental storms. Through trial and error, I discovered which cognitive strategies actually worked – daily check-ins that externalized the anxiety, self-compassion work that stopped me spiraling, mindful exercises that gave racing thoughts somewhere to land.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't eliminated brain fog altogether, but I've learned to navigate it rather than drown in it.

Most importantly, I learned to trust myself again – to trust that my wisdom hasn't vanished just because my recall speed has slowed down.

The journal includes the exact exercises that helped me reclaim my focus. Download your copy here and start your own journey back to clarity.

Four Cognitive Strategies to Quieten the Mental Noise

1. Daily Mindset Check-Ins That Externalize the Anxiety

Most of us never pause to genuinely check in with ourselves. But when you don't acknowledge the brain fog and anxiety, they fester and grow bigger in the shadows.

The Daily Mindset Check exercise in my journal provides a framework for reflection.

You note what's happening, rate your stress and calm levels, identify emotions, and assign a colour to represent your day.

This externalizes the chaos.

When you write "I forgot three things before 10am and I'm panicking," the anxiety becomes something you're observing rather than something consuming you. That distance creates room for perspective and self-compassion rather than self-criticism.

Start with just five minutes, either morning or evening.

Consistency matters far more than duration.

2. Self-Compassion Exercises That Stop the Spiral

When you forget something, your inner voice probably isn't kind.

Mine used to be brutal: "What's wrong with you?" "You're useless."

That harsh self-talk added shame and stress that made brain fog considerably worse.

The self-compassion section walks you through questions designed to interrupt that critical voice:

• What are you criticising yourself about?

• What would you tell a good friend feeling this way?

• How can you reframe harsh thoughts into kinder ones?

• In a month, will this matter as much?

This isn't fluffy nonsense – it's evidence-based psychology.

When you treat yourself with compassion, you reduce stress hormones that impair cognitive function and create mental space for actual problem-solving.

3. Mental Decluttering and Mindful Breathing

Mental clutter – unfinished business, toxic relationships, constant distractions – overwhelms your cognitive capacity just like physical clutter overwhelms your environment.

The decluttering exercise asks you to examine:

• What excess commitments drain your mental bandwidth?

• Are there relationships creating more chaos than connection?

• What distracting habits have you fallen into?

• When can you implement focused breathing into your routine?

he journal also includes "Try This" exercises – spending 15 minutes observing feelings without changing them, watching clouds, sitting in nature, focusing purely on breathing.

These mindful practices train your brain to settle rather than race constantly.

What you eat genuinely affects cognitive function. I'm not a qualified nutritionist, but research shows certain strategies support brain health during menopause.

Prioritize:

Omega-3 fatty acids from oily fish

• Antioxidant-rich berries

• Leafy greens packed with folate

• Nuts, seeds, and whole grains

Consider supplements (with medical approval):

• Omega-3 fish oil

• B-complex vitamins

• Magnesium for sleep and stress

• Vitamin D if deficient

BONUS TIPS: Minimize excess sugar, processed foods, and alcohol. Stay hydrated – even mild dehydration impairs cognitive function.

Gentle movement matters too. Walking outdoors, swimming, yoga, dancing in your kitchen – even 20 minutes daily increases blood flow to the brain, promotes new brain cell growth, and reduces stress hormones.

The journal includes tracking space so you can identify which strategies work best for you.

Download it here and build your cognitive toolkit.

4. Brain-Supporting Nutrition and Movement

When to seek Additional Support

If memory problems significantly impact daily functioning, work performance, or safety, please speak with a healthcare professional.

With 80% of women reporting that medical professionals haven't listened to or believed them, you may need to advocate firmly, but proper assessment matters.

HRT can be transformative for cognitive symptoms. CBT can address anxiety that compounds brain fog.

This new book by practising GP, Dr Ellie Cannon, offers a magnificent insight. It's called The Little Book of HRT.

The practices I've shared work beautifully for many women, but they're not a replacement for medical care when needed.

Your Next Steps!

Brain fog during menopause isn't weakness or permanent decline.

It's a hormonal response that can be managed with the right mental practices and support.

My Calming Your Midlife Mind journal brings together all these cognitive strategies in one practical format.

Download your copy now and start creating the mental clarity you deserve.

Just imagine if next month, you felt calmer, more focused, and genuinely confident trusting your own mind again.

That's entirely possible with simple, consistent practices that quieten the mental noise.

Until next time!

All my luv

Marv

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